It is better to be on the ground wishing you were flying, than vice versa.

...more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy...

Philosophy Corner

 


with Py of VP


Reminders......

....Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

...When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

...The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

...It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

...Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

...It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

...Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

...There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

...Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

...May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

...Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.

...The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

...Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

...Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

...The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

 

 

I've learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned- that some members of your family may not always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

 


Rules For Being Human
(Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D.)

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time informal school called LIFE. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or you may think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes - only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, an experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process has the experiment that ultimately "Works."

4. A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "Here." When your "There" has become a "Here", you will simply obtain another "There" that will again look better than "Here."

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about any other person unless it reflects to you something that you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have the means to obtain all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions are already yours. All you have to do is look, listen and trust.

10. You will forget all this when you are born.

The cute statements below are said to have been written by actual students and are genuine, authentic and not retouched or corrected:


In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.

He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.


Bumper Sticker Philosophy


Life is sexually transmitted.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that).

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.

The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.



Kid Philosophers

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth-that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally-but I didn't want to upset him. -Age 10

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. -Age 5

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. -Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. -Age 13

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor. -Age 14

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -Age 15

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. -Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -Age 7

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -Age 10

Home is where the house is. -Age 6

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -Age 5

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -Age 13

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. -Age 13

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.
That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" -Age 15

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right? -Age 15

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks. -Age 15

I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. -Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -Age 15

 
                            One

                One song can spark a moment,
                One flower can wake the dream.
                One tree can start a forest,
                One bird can herald spring.
                One smile begins a friendship,
                One handclasp lifts a soul.
                One star can guide a ship at sea,
                One word can frame the goal.
                One vote can change a nation,
                One sunbeam lights a room.
                One candle wipes out darkness,
                One laugh will conquer gloom.
                One step must start each journey,
                One word must start each prayer.
                One hope will raise our spirits,
                One touch can show you care.
                One voice can speak with wisdom,
                One heart can know what's true.
                One life can make the difference,
                You see it's up to YOU!

  

        Old Time Religion

Gimme that ole time De-iz-m
Gimme that ole time De-iz-m
Gimme that ole time De-iz-m, 
It's good enough for me. 
(Refrain after each verse.)
Let us worship Aphrodite,
    Though we hear she's rather flighty
    Still she wears a see-through nightie
    And that's good enough for me.
We will pray to Father Zeus
    In his temple we'll hang loose
    Eating roast beef au jus,
    And that's good enough for me.
Let us worship like the Druids
    Drinking strange fermented fluids
    Running naked through the wo-ods,
    And that's good enough for me.
My roommate worships Buddha.
    There is no idol cuter.
    Comes in copper, bronze, and pewter,
    And that's good enough for me.
Let us pray to Zarathustra
    Let us pray just like we useta
    I'm a Zarathustra boosta
    It's good enough for me.
Let us pray like the Egyptians
    Build pyramids to put our crypts in
    Fill our subways with inscriptions
    It's good enough for me.
We will sing a song of Mithras
    Let us sing a song of Mithras
    But there is no rhyme for Mithras!
    Still he's good enough for me.
We will go to worship Kali
    She will help us in our folly
    She'd be quite an armful, golly!
    And she's good enough for me.
Let us worship old Jehovah
    All you other gods move ovah
    Cause the one God's takin' over
    And it's good enough for me
Let us sing the praise of Loki,
    He's the old Norse God of Chaos
    Which is why this verse doesn't particularly
     rhyme or scan or anything like that,
    But it's good enough for me!


Ralph T. Webb
An Animated Cartoon Theology:
  1. People are animals.
  2. The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
  3. Life is antagonistic to the living.
  4. The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and plucked for music.
  5. The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own cunning.
  6. The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own momentum.
  7. We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.

-- E. L. Doctorow "The Book of Daniel"

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